Friday, January 25, 2013

Bad Habits

First blog post of the year. You know what that means. I'm procrastinating. This usually means I'm avoiding cleaning or writing. Tonight it's both. Although I'm mostly avoiding writing, which sucks because I was so pumped about it earlier! At first I was bummed I didn't make any plans on this Friday night, mostly because my hair looks AWESOME. Seriously, best hair day I've had a in while thanks to the hair tutorial I found on Pinterest. So when I came home after work I felt like I was wasting an evening, but then I thought,  'Wait! I know what I'll do! I'll spend the whole evening writing! I'll start working on the screenplay/novel/sketch/short story/poem I never finished.' And suddenly I loved the idea of staying at home writing a novel while looking super fabulous. It's so Carrie Bradshaw.

Image from heartifb.com

But then the procrastination gene kicked in and I thought, 'Maybe I'll blog first.' THEN I put off my normal procrastination method of choice and started doing things like stalk people on Facebook and research my ailments on WebMD (I have six weeks to live most likely). After that I decided to re-read ALL my blog posts. I had no idea I've had this blog since 2006! That's a long ass time. I haven't read the old posts in ages. I was worried about what I would find. I expected to be embarrassed by really awful writing. I assumed I'd be deleting a lot of old posts.

In re-reading all these posts, I discovered two things:

1. My writing is funny! It's actually really funny. I wasn't embarrassed by any of it. If anything I was inspired. The old stuff is a hoot! Why do I doubt myself? Then I realized that I've spent the last SEVEN YEARS doubting my storytelling ability. Why? Why? Why? I could have written a million things in that time. No more doubting myself! Self-doubt is a major waste of time.

2. My eating habits are terrible. I guess I already knew that, but reading all those old posts made me realize just how bad I've been about my eating. From the yam and diet coke lunch to sugarless ice cream bars from the 99 Cent Store to microwaveable Weight Watchers meals to Pizza For One to a sandwich in a box to the time I ate a piece of cookware that fell into my pasta because I thought it was an olive. Do I not have any respect for my body? Good Lord! I wish I could say I've changed, but do you want to know what I had for dinner tonight? Wine! With some crackers and chocolate crisps thrown in for good measure. Wow. For the past seven years I've had the worst diet ever. And I wonder why I have stomach problems now! Just today I was telling a friend that I'm pretty sure I have gallstones/ulcers/stomach cancer due to the consistent pain in my stomach. Maybe it's my body's way of yelling at me. It's all fun and games in your 20s when you can fall asleep with fast food wrappers on your nightstand, but then one day you're facing 32 and your body starts falling apart. Note to self: Hit up a farmer's market once in a while.

The good news is I'm pumped to write. Yeah! Let's do this!

3 comments:

thesunchick said...

Oh my gosh, this is hysterical!! I've been rolling in laughter reading this... It's great because you are so honest and real, you are just entertainingly funny. Love the links back to all the adventures in eating.. Especially since I totally remember those blogs now that I re-read them. Very cool!!! Cheers to fantastic hair and wine for dinner!

RShaef said...

I seriously don't understand how I have not known about all your blog posts. I have been missing out. Looking forward to being in the natalieblogging loop again. LOVED this post.

Natalie D. said...

Thanks, ladies!