Sunday, September 30, 2012

Halloween Costume Idea: Kris Jenner

Photo from TopNews.in
After watching a Kardashian marathon yesterday (I'm not proud of it, people), I've decided I want to see someone go as Kris Jenner for Halloween. You'll need:

- a white pantsuit
- short dark wig
- giant fake eyelashes
- lots of face bronzer
- big earrings
- giant sunglasses (optional)

Then you can talk on your phone all night pretending to discuss new ways of making money off your children.

Halloween Costume Idea: Katniss Everdeen

Every time I see a picture of Katniss Everdeen from The Hunger Games I think, 'That would make a great costume.' And it would be relatively easy to put together. She's got a million different outfits, but I'm thinking of her plain jane attire. Dark pants, brown boots, brown leather jacket. Braid your hair and pick up a bow and arrow and you're set! Ladies, I'll bet you already have this outfit in your closet.

Photo from US Weekly

If you Google "bow and arrow costume" you'll find a ton of bow and arrow options ranging from cheapy plastic toy versions to pretty realistic versions. Just depends on your budget.

Thursday, September 6, 2012

The Art of Procrastination

Photo from Amazon
Check out NPR's interview with this awesome scholar who says that being a procrastinator can be a good thing and doesn't necessarily mean you're lazy (he's a procrastinator, too). I haven't even read the book and I already feel better about myself. He mentions in the interview that many procrastinators are really perfectionists who set the bar so high for themselves that they don't bother to complete the task at hand because they know it won't be perfect.

I'm already aware that my perfectionistic tendencies lead me to procrastination ( i.e. I'm not gonna write a perfect book so I'm just gonna log onto Pinterest and look at pictures of inspirational phrases about writing), but this little interview has served as a good reminder to give myself a break. I know I joke about my procrastination problem, but the truth is I beat myself up about it. And I'm not gonna worry about it anymore. I do a lot of productive crap, so I think it's time to embrace my procrastinating awesomeness.

Anyhoo, I'll read this book and report back to you (probably maybe). I like the idea of "structured procrastination" and I want to read more about it. Hey, this guy wrote a book when he was supposed to be doing something else. Procrastination rules!

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Money-Making Ideas

When I'm not busy with my usual procrastination activities (social networking, reading, staring off into space), I like to brainstorm money-making ideas that I'll never follow through with. Sometimes the ideas are clever (buying a parking lot in Hollywood with my friend Carolina and charging people a boatload of money to park there). Sometimes the ideas area really clever, and years later someone else has followed through with it (self-adhesive postage stamps*, bite-sized corn dogs). And sometimes people just think my ideas are odd. I once spent a good 20 minutes explaining to my coworkers why cereal milk would be a good product to sell. What's the best thing about cereal? The flavored milk leftover at the end! Genius, I tell you! Americans will buy that crap! People are drinking yogurt out of a tube for crying out loud.

The money-making brainstorming process usually goes something like this:

A Recent Conversation With My Boyfriend

Me: If I ever give birth, I want someone to give me a trophy at the end.
Chris: Isn't the baby kind of the trophy?
Me: Um...no. I want a trophy with a little gold person on top and an inscription that says, "You Gave Birth."
Chris: But isn't it reward enough to hold your little newborn baby in your arms?
Me: Nope. Trophy.
Chris: Ok.
Me: Actually, maybe I'll make the trophy myself and sell it for, like, 20 bucks. People love stupid little tchotchkes like that!
Chris: People do love to buy stupid little tchotchkes.

I'm basically gonna just find old soccer trophies and write "You Gave Birth" on them. If you want one, you can buy it for $20 (does not include shipping and handling). I'll mail it to you within a year. Maybe. Or not. Probably not.



*It's a true story that when I was a wee child, I asked my parents why we don't have "sticker stamps." I found it ridiculous that we had to lick postage stamps when we obviously had the technology to make self-adhesive stickers. This would have been about 1986. Although I just did some research and according to Wikipedia, they did try a self-adhesive stamp in 1974, but it sucked. It wasn't until 1989 that the post office issued sticker stamps that didn't suck. NOTE: I did not double check to make sure this information is accurate.