The other day I saw one of those Neighborhood Watch signs, and it reminded me of when I was a kid and I thought that was actually a picture of the man we were looking for. I didn't know what crime he committed, but it must have been bad because the whole neighborhood was on the lookout for this shadow man with a black trench coat and fedora.
I gotta say, that Neighborhood Watch Villain needs a makeover. He's had the same look for decades! Here are a few suggestions (Warning: My MS Paint skills are amazing).
Add a pink fedora.
Add some bling.
Add some Justin Bieber hair.
Or maybe we should all just admit to ourselves that the Neighborhood Watch Guy is actually Homestar Runner. Notice how they're never in the same place at the same time?