Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Don't Judge A Book By Its Taco Bell Wrappers

Last night I watched an episode of Fringe for the first time. These three students were in a car crash and then mauled by some awful creature. When the cops came to investigate, they decided there were originally four kids in the car because of the four empty fast food cups they found. I couldn't help but wonder...what if the kid just hadn't cleaned out his car in a while? If he's anything like me, those empty cups could have been from weeks prior.

I couldn't stop thinking about it! If I was mauled by an awful creature after a car crash and the cops were going through the empty Taco Bell cups in my Toyota Echo, they would assume 14 people had been in the car crash. And if they continued to go through all the Taco Bell wrappers, they'd guess they were 14 very gluttonous people with an insatiable hunger for Double Decker Tacos. And since they would only find my body, they'd go on a hunt for 13 people who never existed.

Moral of the story? Don't judge a book by its Taco Bell wrappers.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Cereal Boxes Are Amusing

Have you seen the back of the Honey Bunches of Oats box recently? No? That's okay. I scanned it for you.




I find it completely hilarious. I love the question at the top:

So how did they come up with the idea for this amazing cereal?

As if that's what we're all wondering when we eat Honey Bunches of Oats. Cornflakes and granola?! What a concept! How did they come up with the idea?!

The answer to this question starts with the line, "Vern had a big idea!" Then it launches into this lengthy story about a guy who worked for Post and how he was all obsessed with creating his own cereal. Vern and his daughter made up a cereal, but didn't know what to call it. So the brand manager got involved and was like, "Let's add honey and call it Honey Bunches of Oats!" A star was born and the cereal debuted in 1989.

This is all they could come up with for the back of the box? No profiles on weed-smoking Olympians? Did they run out of plastic watches to give away? Boring!

Sincerely,
The Loser Who Reads The Back Of Cereal Boxes