Monday, October 27, 2008

As Long As There Are 99 Cent Stores, There Will Be Comedy

I went to the 99 Cent Store last night to pick up a few things (by the way, Halloween Headquarters my ass. All they had were plastic pumpkins and orange socks).

As I'm headed to the trash bag aisle, I see this little Asian man arguing with the cashier about something that was priced wrong. I'm not sure how that's possible considering the name of the store. But he yelled repeatedly, "Not my mistake! Their mistake!" He continued to make a fuss about it even after the cashier fixed the mistake.

Just when I thought it was over I heard the little Asian man say to the cashier, "What did you say to me?" Apparently the cashier mumbled, "Screw you, Sir." And I gotta say I love that he added "Sir" to the insult. His mama raised him right.

"Screw me?!" the little Asian man yelled? "No, screw you!"

The cashier continued to ring up the next person in line, but the Asian man was relentless.

"Screw me, he says? Let's take this outside. Come on, let's take this outside!" He's actually picking a fight with the young, large Mexican fella at the cash register. I mean the dude was pretty big. Not the kinda guy you wanna pick a fight with.

But the best part of this story is the complete apathy of the other customers. This one lady bends down to her little boy and says in a mocking baby voice, "Aww, look. Are they gonna fight?"

They don't fight. The big cashier keeps ringing up customers and ignoring the man's threats. The scene finally ended when an old lady in line yells to the little Asian man in her scraggly witch voice, "Get over it!"

Just another night at the 99 Cent Store.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Shout Out Of The Week - Guy Who Posted Instructions On How To Make The Frank Mask From Donnie Darko

I promise to start making these weekly shout outs every week. Right now it's every couple of weeks.

I must give a shout out to the guy who posted instructions on how to make the Frank the Bunny mask from Donnie Darko. Thanks to this guy (well this guy and my mom), my Halloween costume is gonna kick ass. AND I'll be saving lots of dough. The Frank costume is expensive.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Self-Help Section

I'm tempted to go to the self-help section at Barnes and Noble to purchase books with titles like "How To Find A Job You Don't Hate" or "Get Rich By Napping" or "The Vodka Diet: Creating A Life Of True Bliss."