Monday, January 15, 2007

How To Meet Men

My friend sent me this article on "How To Meet Men" from Good stuff. All this article needs is some sassy commentary. My personal comments are in red. Enjoy!

STEP 1: Shoot pool at the local pool hall. Or jump in a pool at the local community pool. Just don't get them mixed up. Nothing is more embarrassing than jumping into a pool table in your bikini.

STEP 2: Watch sporting events at a sports bar with friends who work at a sporting goods store, and make sure to wear a sports coat.

STEP 3: Hang out at a popular surf beach - but try not to use the phrase "popular surf beach." Nobody says that.

STEP 4: Join a local sports league. Get injured. Have a hot guy from your team carry you to the ER. Kiss him when he goes to visit you in the hospital. If he doesn't kiss you back, pretend you didn't mean it and blame it on "all the painkillers they're giving me."

STEP 5: Find out if your local bike shop has a biking group you can join. First find out if you like biking.

STEP 6: Do your laundry at the laundromat. Check his laundry basket to make sure he's single. When he asks why you're rummaging through this things, tell him you love the smell of men's dirty laundry. It makes you hot. If he reacts strangely, pretend you didn't mean it and blame it on "all the painkillers they're giving me."

STEP 7: Grocery shop late at night or late Saturday morning. Check out his eating habits by the contents of his cart. Yeah, check out "the contents of his cart." Wink, wink.

STEP 8: Walk your dog. If you don't have a dog, walk your neighbor's dog. If your neighbor doesn't have a dog, make a dog out of paper mache and roll it down the street. Guys love this.

STEP 9: Join a local community garden. Just sit in the garden alone and hope for the best.

Tips & Warnings

- Do the things you love to do and you'll meet guys who have similar interests. Unless of course your interests are quilting, hair-braiding or talking about your period.
- A friendly smile is a great ice breaker. Or grab his butt.
- If you have done the above and still cannot meet men, you are flawed. These ideas are fantastic.